Monday, December 30, 2019

Free Fiction: Doggone Part Five (A Lenny Parker serial) by Jochem Vandersteen

Lenny Parker, PI / roadie / metalhead is back in a new serial, blending a bit of comedy with a hardboiled detective story, one feet into metal culture. This time he is hired to track down a missing dog. Read the other parts here.


Lenny and his friends got to work at the crack of dawn. Mikey had printed out flyers that Casey helped him pass around in the neighborhood. Mohawk, who was often just too abrasive or freaky looking with his face tattoos and spikey hair for people not to stay out of his way decided to just hang the flyers in stores and on trees. Lenny had asked Janice to help out as well. She was glad to help. He didn’t bother asking Cliff.
Janice was standing at Lenny’s truck, picking up some new flyers.  She was wearing jeans short and a tank top that said “Eyes front, sailor.” Lenny had to admit she looked even more attractive than the day before. It probably wouldn’t take long for Mikey to make his move. The metal god with the long hair and strong chin got all the babes.
“That’s a great group of friends you’ve got there,” she said.
“Yeah, they sure are. Good people,” Lenny said.
“The one with the Mohawk looks a bit scary though.”
“Looks often deceive you. Not sure if they do in this case though,” Lenny told her, grabbing another stack of flyers from his car as well.
“The guy with the long hair… Is he single?” Janice asked.
Shit, there we go, Lenny thought. “More or less. Mikey usually has a few things going if you know what I mean.”
“Player, huh? Never mind then. Hate players,” Janice said. “See you later!” She walked off with the flyers. Lenny was embarrassed to catch himself staring at her ass a bit too long.
“Nice ass, right?” Casey said from behind him. That startled him, feeling even more embarrassed and caught. He tried not to blush but failed.
Casey laughed. “Relax, dude. Nothing to be ashamed of. I was checking her out myself. Any idea if she’s into girls?”
Not Casey too, Lenny thought. “She liked Mikey.”
“Maybe she swing both ways. Lot of that going around these days,” Casey offered.
Lenny sighed. “Just get some flyers, okay?”
Casey chuckled, ruffling Lenny’s hair. “Just messing with you, dude. I can see you like her. I’m not the kind of girl to cramp your style. Enough fish in the sea for me.”
“I really don’t think she’s interested in me,” Lenny said.
“Hey, some girls like big dudes. It could happen. And you’re a nice guy, Len. Contrary to popular belief these days, most girls still like nice guys.”
“Haven’t noticed,” Lenny said.
“Ah, fuck it, Lenny! You’re making me sad!” Casey said and smacked him on the arm. “Let’s get these flyers out there.”
With those words they both got to work again.
The whole neighborhood was covered, flyers ended up in everybody’s hands that was willing to listen to the metalheads and the nurse. Nobody had seen Ozzy the last week though. Some people knew the dog and told them how sorry they felt for the old man. While those sympathies were heartwarming it did little in helping them find the dog, though.
It was getting dark when they all got together at Lenny’s car, sharing their progress or lack of it.
“We did our best, that counts for something I guess. And I got some exercise walking all over the neighborhood,” Janice said.
“You don’t look like you need any,” Mikey said, all shit-eating bad boy James Dean smile. Lenny rolled his eyes.
“That’s laying it on a bit thick,” Janice said.
Mikey shrugged, “I just calls ‘em like I sees ‘em.”
“I think it’s still a bit weird nobody saw Ozzy,” Lenny cut in. “It’s like he vanished in thin air. Or indeed, someone did… Dognap him.”
“Did you just really say dognap?” Mike guffawed.
Lenny shrugged. “Best name for it I guess.”
“You might be right,” Casey agreed.
“Hey, you know I already thought that was a possibility,” Janice said.
“But how are we going to find Ozzy then? He could literally be anywhere about now,” Lenny said.
“Hey, don’t look at me. You’re the fucking private eye,” Mohawk said.
Lenny couldn’t argue with that. Maybe he should indeed start acting like a private investigator instead of someone just looking  for  a missing pet. He should start treating this as a real abduction case. Unfortunately he never worked on any of those. He knew someone who probably did though. Time to give her a call.


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